Christmas

It's nearly here. It's 5 days away. Have I finished my Christmas shopping? No. Do I hate everyone who has? Yes. However I'm not too worried about any of it, because in my household, Christmas is no longer an event to be celebrated. It's an event to be avoided. The first rule of Christmas is that we do not talk about Christmas. Not the decorations, not the presents, not the meal, not the family, not anything.

It didn't always used to be quite so Grinch-y up in this hoooo' (lol, ho, santa, funny - fuck off) but the past few years have been all a bit of a muddle and as a result any occasion which seems to put pressure on you to be happy or to be in love or to be a pleasant human being doesn't go down very well. Birthdays are another struggle. There's a lot of attention on you as an individual to have friends to buy you presents and cards and be appreciative of your existence. At least that's where I get the impression the joys of birthdays are supposed to stem from. Apparently, celebrating that you are "one year closer to death" is not the point. But whatever.

New Years. Another big fuck you to everyone suffering from long-term misery in their lives. Oh great! Another year! New start? Why of course not! You're just going to face more of the same shit but in a year that ends in a different number. Ace! Fireworks! Friends! Alcohol! Nope! I'm going to sit at home in my pyjamas, kiss my dog at midnight (if I'm not already asleep by then) and eat every last remnant of Christmas food. Though, let's be honest, that will probably all be gone just one or two days after Boxing Day. Hashtag fatty.

I did do something this year that I have not done in a while though. I'm afraid to say that I did see some Christmas lights and call them "pretty". Normally, I see those lights and they only serve to remind me of the misery that is to come in the festive period. I even took a photo! In fact, this 'season' I have taken two photos of Christmassy scenes! TWO PHOTOS! I have not, however, seen any reindeer and this sort of counteracts the leap in progress I have made in terms of festive joy. Last year I saw some reindeers and I thoroughly enjoyed their weird furry antlers and horsey/cow-type noses. Yeah, technical terms there.

So this post is just here as a friendly reminder that all that festive cheer is, to some people, a mask to hide their deep-rooted misery, and inside their souls are crumbling. Or, there are those like me, who don't even bother to pretend anymore. Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!! Note the ironic exclamation marks.


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