Hello.

So. It appears I have a blog now. I think this is the most self-indulgent form of social media I'm to buy into so far, but Whatever-Minger. In my head I did that with the hand movement. If you don't know which hand movement I mean with the W and the M shapes, and if you didn't yourself do it in your head too, then I don't think you belong here. You probably shouldn't continue reading, this probably ain't gon' be yo jam.

I expect (and hope) no one will ever have the misfortune of stumbling across this platform for shit spouting, and I feel I've done a stellar job of setting the tone so far. I like to swear. I like to make jokes that no-one finds funny, not even me. I like being highly inappropriate. I like looking at pictures of pretty women far too much for a straight female to really be able to justify.  I like spending hours applying make up and styling my hair and dressing myself in order to look like I have made zero effort in my appearance. I like hating everything that I am. I'm essentially the worlds biggest hypocrite and dickhead combined. What a catch.

Despite all that I am quite interested in sensible and serious stuff too. Current affairs are great. Even the pop culture ones. I'm pretty all rounded. I like animals and saving the world and recycling and all that tripe. This is what I mean about the hypocrisy; I'm probably contributing to 90% of the ozone layer deterioration from the amount of hair product I use alone in one morning. The frequency at which I spend consecutive days not even getting out of my pyjamas hopefully makes up for this in some way though.

Anyway. This is just going to be an outlet for many a rant about personal dilemmas involving idiot friends, idiot me, idiot Miley antics and idiot everything's. (Does an apostrophe belong there? Will we ever know? Don't tell me. I don't really care. This is a blog not an academic masterpiece. Soz.)

I can't predict what I'm going to write because I'm just so kooky and unique and off the wall. To prove exactly that I'm going to go for an afternoon nap now with the dulcet tones of Countdown acting as my lullaby. So you can go shave your back now. Bye Jason.

.x