Hair There & Everywhere

Something very odd happened to my hair yesterday, and I think I liked it. It resembled a lion's mane, an 80s Babyliss-style crimping disaster and very delicate dreadlocks all in one. OH WAIT! This is  what happens every day. But yesterday it was particularly Miley-esque in that it could not be tamed. It stayed pretty wild all day and this was what was so odd yet brilliant about it.

My hair is probably my greatest conquest in life. I have battled with it ever since I got it all lopped off when I was 10 years old so I didn't have to wear a swimming cap in our school pool. In hindsight this haircut did look quite good, but girls in year six can be really quite mean and being bullied for having a boys haircut isn't one of my fondest memories. But hey, fuck you guys, I still to this day have never suffered the indignity of wearing a swimming cap, I win.

As is the case with most haircuts; they do grow out. And in my experience, they like to grow out in the most hideous ways possible. Fringe curtains, grown out "feathering", Phoebe from the Magic School Bus end-flicks (only a select audience will relate to this reference but as I'm sure you're growing to understand, I'm really good at alienating the majority of human beings that I meet). Not to mention dodgy dye-jobs, especially ones that have been a result of the packet saying it would leave my hair a rich brown but leaving it scabby red. Because we're worth it my arse.

The point I'm aiming towards here is this: I have awesome hair now. Really awesome. But it's been a long time coming and wouldn't be as great as it is without a fair bit of routine followed pretty strictly. You want a voluminous wave in your hair? Say goodbye to good sleep because wearing your hair in a high bun is the best (cheap) method I've found to date. You want your hair to look good from day till night? Make room in your handbag for hundreds of cans of hairspray, you're going to need to keep topping up on the root spritz. You want that sexy I-don't-give-a-shit dishevelled look? Prepare for an onset of matting and or dreadlocking because you better commit and stop brushing your hair every five minutes, bitch.

So they are my tips for the best hair you could ever possibly achieve, if you are me. Bun it, spray it, but be prepared to look like Hermione Granger circa Philosophers Stone when the volume and frizz collide. It's a risk I'm always willing to take though.

.x

BEHOLD, THE HAIR.